


The Chosen

by readyurwands



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26779333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readyurwands/pseuds/readyurwands
Summary: No one ever knows if they’ll be one of the chosen. No one knows if they’ll go to sleep and wake up in a new life, or even if they’ll wake up at all. I think that’s the worst part really; the not knowing.A world where on your 19th birthday, you could wake up in new reality. Emersyn Carter is one of the Chosen.
Kudos: 1





	1. Prologue

No one ever knows if they’ll be one of the chosen. No one knows if they’ll go to sleep and wake up in a new life, or even if they’ll wake up at all. I think that’s the worst part really; the not knowing. The wondering. The saying goodbye. The wishing. 

For some, being chosen is a beautiful thing. You can live an entire life in a new place. You can fall in love, experience new places, foods and people. For others, being chosen is a death sentence. No one knows why only some chosen return. No one knows anything really. All we do know is that the night before you turn 19, you could go to sleep and wake up somewhere completely different, in a completely new life. You never know how long you’ll be there for; you only know once you receive your 24-hour notice. You could be there for as little as a few minutes, or as long as an entire lifetime, then you wake up and it’s like it never happened. Then, you’re just 19-year-old you again.

Not everyone is chosen though, some go to sleep and wake up the next day and nothing has changed. For those around you, it’s like no time had passed at all. You can have an entire life and it’s gone in the blink of an eye. Some people come back broken. They lose their soulmate, their children, their lives. Some- well some don’t even come back at all. No one knows why, all we know is that they just don’t wake up the next morning. 

Today is the day before my 19th birthday. My once dark room is beginning to take shape as the first sign of morning starts to seep in through my blinds. I didn’t sleep last night; I mean how could I knowing that I could be one of the chosen? For all I know, this could be the last day I see my family and friends for years, or forever actually. All I’ve done since I said goodnight to my family last night was stare at my ceiling and think about what it would be like to be chosen. My Mom was a Chosen. She tells me it was a beautiful thing, that I would be lucky to be chosen. 

She tells me she woke up in a beautiful world, covered in trees and hills and sunshine. It never rained, the wind sung songs through the forest trees and the rivers sparkled like they were made from diamonds. She was a Princess, living in a beautiful golden castle on a tall hill. The villagers were kind, hardworking and always smiling. The village is also where she met her husband, his name was Louis and he worked in the village. They fell in love, got married and got pregnant. The day the baby was born was her 24-hour notice. She came back after the birth of their daughter, Emersyn. 

Those are the stories that make you want to be chosen, especially if it means escaping the world we live in now. Our Wayfall is cold. There is no laughter, except in secret. Everyone must dress the same, eat the same, talk the same and think the same. That’s the way it’s been since The All Electorate took over 150 years ago. They said before, our world was falling into chaos. Individuality had caused the world to become selfish, they were falling apart little by little. So, The All Electorate took over. They burned all books that were not non-fiction, removed TVs, computers and phones and began to rebuild. 

Now the only stories we hear are from the Chosen. They get to live a life greater than this. They get happiness, laughter, love, hope. I wonder if being chosen is the cruelest of torture though? To be shown a life much greater than the one you’ve been given, then have it ripped from you and have to return to this. My Mother’s story did nothing to quell my fears of being chosen though. 4 months ago, my best friend, Vera, was chosen and she did not return. I remember seeing her on her last day, wishing her well, hoping that she would return to see me tomorrow. 

She never did. 

She never returned. 

I waited until an hour before curfew to go to her house. We lived relatively close, only about a 10-minute walk. When her Mother answered the door I knew something had gone wrong when I saw her face. She told me that Vera hadn’t woken up this morning, that The All Electorate had come to pick Vera up and dispose of the body.

I walked home in silence after that, though Wayfall was always silent. This was different. Filled with grief and hatred and sadness. 

Now here I am, still staring at my ceiling. The room is brighter now, so it must be rising time. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll succumb to the same fate as Vera, to go to sleep and never wake up. Maybe, I’ll be like my Mother. Thrust into a beautiful world and wonderful life, only to have to have it ripped from me and forced to return to this nightmare we call home. 

Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll be neither. I’ll be me. Emersyn Louise Carter. 19. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and everything will be the same. I’ll still be living at House 593, Section 29 in Providence 3. I’ll still have a Mother, who lived a life I’ll never know. A Father, who never smiles. A brother, who now works for the same government he once despised years ago. And a best friend, who never returned. 

I’ll never know though. Not until I go to sleep. So, until then. 

Until then, it’s time to get up.


	2. Chapter One

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a short, quiet knock on my door. 

“Rising time.” Was all the voice said before I heard footsteps retreat down the hall. 

Letting out a sigh, I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. I was hoping my family would be lenient on rising time today, especially with my choosing happening tonight. Apparently though, that was not the case. 

As I got out of bed and put on the same boring, grey uniform I put on every day, I thought about the day I had ahead of me. I had school today, as I did every day. It was my final year before I decided my career. My options were more school, or a government chosen job and I only had 5 more months to make the decision. 

My whole family had chosen more school, which led to us living in Providence 3. It was one of the nicer providences, with providence 1 being used for The All Electorate, there were 10 providences in total. The closer you got to 10, the worse the providence was. If I chose a government chosen job, I would be required to leave my providence and move to a lower one. 

“You’re behind schedule today.” 

I looked up from my staring contest with the floor to realize my feet had already taken me to the dining room without me realizing. My family was already sitting down at the table, hands clasped in front of them, waiting for me to enter so they may begin eating. In Wayfall, everyone must follow a strict schedule. Rising time, eating time, work/school time, exercise time and on and on and on until you inevitably die after a long, boring, uneventful life. 

“Sorry, didn’t sleep well last night. Must have made me sluggish.” I respond, sitting down in my assigned chair, clasping my hands in front of me and waiting for my Father to say our food blessing, so I could eat and leave this prison of a house. 

“We thank The All Electorate for our abundant health and well-being. We know the food on our table has been chosen with great care to keep us nourished and safe. We give all our graces to The All Electorate in return.” 

The food was bland, just as it always was. My Mother once told me about the food in her chosen world. It was colorful, full of taste and had a variety of textures. I wonder sometimes if she misses it. I know I would if I went from eating joyously every day, to having to eat shapeless, tasteless mush. It’s the same for every meal, except revolution day, which had already come and gone this year. 

After eating, we disposed of our plates in our food shoot and went about our schedules. Mother, Father and Brother all had work. I, on the other hand, began my trek to school. It was only a 15-minute walk and it was my favorite part of the day. The only other time we really have to go outside and just enjoy our thoughts is during exercise time, but it’s not the same. 

Sometimes when I walk I imagine what it would be like if the world was full of more color. All the houses I pass look the exact same, grey, sad, two story houses with 4 windows each. Each house gets 1 car per working inhabitant. There is a tree at the front of each house, each tall and slim and perfectly round on top. It seems sunnier today, or maybe it’s just my imagination. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to walk barefoot in the grass, to feel wind blowing through my hair, to smell flowers or to feel the rain on my face. 

I’ll never know those things though; all I’ll know is Wayfall. All I’ll know is this life. The walk went by fast, too fast, and suddenly I was in my seat at school, sitting in silence as we always did until the announcements happen. I gave a small, discreet smile to some of my “friends”. We don’t have much time to make friends here in Wayfall, so I don’t particularly know what you’d call them. How would you describe someone you’ve known and been in class with since birth, but never really had a chance to talk to?

Vera was my only true friend. Each student is given a permanent partner in school when you begin. You do projects together, exercise together, they bring you your work if you get sick and miss school. Vera was my partner and now I have none. Only 12 children are born a year in each providence, excluding providence’s 1 and 10. 

The All Electorate picks families through an application based process. This helps to stabilize the population, reduce climate change, keep food rations high and also helps so there is only 1 choosing a month per providence. 

“Good day students. The date is April 1st, which means we have a choosing tonight. Emersyn Carter. May you be blessed.”

I felt eyes on me. I know everyone was curious. We haven’t had a Chosen since Vera, so it was only a matter of time until someone else was chosen. 

Our teacher began our lesson and I couldn’t focus. ‘Blessed’. How is being chosen a blessing? You either die or get a life ripped from your hands. I wasn’t scared about the idea of not making it through the choosing. I was scared of knowing that there’s a life out there that’s more than this. More than grey houses and government chosen jobs. More than scheduled days and single, perfect trees. More than mushy food and lonely lives. 

I felt bad for those who knew there was more, those who lived entire lives and had them stolen away. Those people often weren’t ever truly themselves again, there was a place for them, in providence 10. It was often referred to as The Broken’s providence. 

Maybe I’d end up there, with the broken. 

The day went by agonizingly slow, just as every day did, but it was almost like this day was taunting me as it felt like every second was slower than the last. When the school day was finally over my classmates each took turns wishing me well on my choosing tonight. 

“I had my choosing last month, Emersyn. It’s really nothing to worry about. I woke up the next day and nothing was different. I didn’t even dream.” 

I gave Tommy a small smile. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but really it didn’t even begin to simmer the doubt and anxieties swirling around in my stomach. 

On my walk home, I decided to walk slower than usual. Who knows the next time I’d get to take this walk again. Maybe it’d be tomorrow and I’d realize I was nervous for nothing. Maybe it’d be never. I only had a few more hours until bed time, then I’d know. 

After homework and chores, I once again found myself sitting in the same seat I was this morning, eating the same food. I was having to force the spoon into my mouth, with each pass of my lips it seemed to get more and more difficult to actually swallow. After dinner was bed time and bed time brought the choosing. 

“Your choosing is tonight Emersyn.” My Mother said, looking at me with thoughtful eyes. 

“Yes.”

“How do you feel?”

“Okay. Nervous, I guess. What if I don’t come back?”

My Father frowned. “You probably won’t even be chosen at all. It only happens to a few, you’re overthinking it.”

I nodded. “Yes, probably.”

The rest of dinner was silent after that. After we had all finished our meals, we once again stood up and put our plates in the food shoot and I began my ascent to my room upstairs. It felt like the walk one takes down death row. The walls felt closer, the floor colder, the lights darker. 

I got ready to sleep and laid in bed. My family entered and I sat up. My Mother silently offered me the required medicine. The medicine just induces sleep, to the point where you can’t even fight it to keep your eyes open. Staying up past the choosing wasn’t an option. This medicine helped those too nervous or excited to sleep, and forced those to sleep who wanted to skip it all together. 

My Father and Brother both gave me small nods of approval and left to retire to their rooms for bed time. My Mother looked at me a moment longer, she had something in her eyes I had never seen before. Anxiety? Apprehension? I’d never know, because as fast it had arrived, it was gone. Giving me a small smile, she stepped forward and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead. Something she hadn’t done since I was sick as a child. “A life lived at all, is a blessing. Sleep now Emersyn, I will see you in the morning.” And she was gone. 

The room was dark and I could feel my eyelids begin to get heavy. The medicine worked quickly, my limbs began to get numb and my thoughts were less and less coherent. I tried fighting it, thinking maybe I was strong enough to stay awake, if only just for another moment. Before I even had even finished that thought my eyes were closed and I fell into a sleep deeper than ever before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> I wanted to post chapter one so I didn't just leave you with the prologue lol. Next chapter is when Emersyn finally starts her adventure omg! I hope you're liking the story so far. Hopefully I'll get chapter 2 finished quick and posted tomorrow or Sunday!
> 
> xx


	3. Chapter Two

I shot up in bed, gasping. It felt like my lungs were on fire, like I had been forgetting to breathe for minutes. My eyes were blurry, attempting to focus on my surroundings. My mind was running in circles; I couldn’t think or even concentrate. What was happening to me?

I was awake.

I was awake.

Oh my graces, I wasn’t dead. 

As the room began to focus around me though I realized, I may not be dead, but I sure as heck wasn’t in Wayfall. 

I was chosen. 

Me. Chosen. 

I began to panic. What was I supposed to do now? How long was I here for? Where even was here?

The room around my looked like nothing I had ever seen. The walls and floor were made of stone; unlike any I’d ever seen before. The room was warm, there was what I assumed to be a heater in the middle. There were 3 other beds in the room with me, all twin with poster frames and red curtains pulled back around them. Looking around the room I noticed quite a bit of red actually, as well as a lot of gold. I had never seen red and gold look this vibrant though, this alive. 

The sun was shining through the windows in the stone walls, meaning it must be morning. I was stunned. All I could do was look around the room. Everything was so different and I was truly here. Wherever here was. 

I would feel the warm air of the room and the softness of the sheets. 

“Oh good! You’re finally up, I thought you’d never wake up honestly. I tried waking you, but you were sleeping like a rock.” 

I was so busy observing the room I hadn’t even noticed a girl walk in. She couldn’t have been any older than 16. Average height with honey brown hair that fell right below her shoulders in a mess of curls and waves. Her calculating eyes were a deep brown and she had a nice rosiness to her cheeks, something I had never seen before. Everyone in Wayfall is pale and cold. 

She wore clothes that I’d never seen either. A blackish grey knee length skirt laid over black tights. She wore a collared shirt with a red and gold tie and a button-up sweater, the same color as the skirt. Why is everything here red and gold anyway? 

“Emersyn? Hello? Are you listening to me?”

My eyes snapped back up to look at her. She was talking? I honestly hadn’t even noticed. Wait, how did she know my name?

“How-“ My voice was scratchy and raw, almost like I hadn’t tried to speak years. After clearing my throat, I tried again. “How do you know my name?”The girl gave me an odd look. “What do you mean ‘how do I know your name?’ We’ve known each other for 5 years now, we’ve been living in the dorms together. We’re friends.”

Friends.

How could I have friends? I just got here. 

She shook her head. “Anyway, are you coming to the great hall for breakfast or not? Classes start soon, so we’d better hurry.”

The idea of food made my stomach rumble. I guess food wouldn’t hurt, I could figure out where I was later. 

“Um, yeah. Yeah, breakfast sounds nice.”

I followed the honey brown haired girl out of the room and down the stairs and my graces I had never seen anything like this place either. I didn’t have time to stop and stare like I did in the stone room, because the girl was already out the door and going down the hall. Running to catch up to her, I gawked as we continued to walk down stone filled hallways.

My graces, what is this place?

There were so many people talking and laughing and smiling, really truly smiling. When was the last time I had even see someone truly smile? I continue to think silently as we walk by a rather large window and I catch sight of myself and stop dead in my tracks.

Turning towards the window, I walk closer to try and get a better look at myself. No way this is possible. I look to be the same age as the girl, around 16. Is it possible to age backwards when you’re chosen? I guess it had to be, considering I definitely did not look like I did only a few hours ago.

My dark brown hair was still straight, but slightly shorter, ending right at the top of my chest. My eyes were still hazel, but brighter and shinier than I had ever seen them before. My skin; my graces my skin was glowing. The rosiness I noticed on the other girl’s cheeks was evident on my cheeks as well. My skin was no longer pale and tired, but slightly sun-kissed and it was beautifully soft as I touched it with the tips of my fingers. 

“Emersyn! What’s gotten in to you today? Come on, I told you we don’t have much time!”

I turned my head away from my reflection to see the girl again giving me a looked filled with slight annoyance. Muttering a quick sorry, I abandoned my reflection and continued to follow her to a set of giant wooden doors. I don’t know what I expected to be on the other side of those wooden doors, but my imagination could never have prepared for what I saw when she finally pushed them open. 

It was glorious. Absolutely magnificent. 

I had never used those words before to describe something. But my graces, now was the perfect time for a first use. 

It was huge. The biggest room I had ever been in by far, there were 4 long tables with benches. Each filled with students eating, chatting, smiling, laughing. As I looked up I had to stop myself from gasping. Candles. Floating candles under a beautiful ceiling. How they got them to float like that, I don’t think I’ll ever know. Clear string maybe?

I followed closely behind the girl and sat next to her on a bench at one of the long tables. In front of us were 2 boys. One had short, dark brown hair, almost the same color as mine. His eyes were a beautiful blue and were covered by a pair of round glasses. He also seemed to have an odd shaped scar on his forehead, how peculiar. The other boy also had blue eyes and fiery red hair. I had never seen anyone with red hair before, how wonderful. They both wore clothing similar to the outfit the girl wore. 

“Are you not going to eat?” I looked over to the red haired boy with wide eyes. 

“Oh, um I- uh yes.” I gave him a weak smile before focusing my attention on what I assumed to be food in front of me. This must have been what Mother said when she talked about the food in her chosen reality. 

Gone was the mush I was used to and in its place were the biggest variety of food I had ever seen. There were so many different colors and shapes and smells. Oh my graces, the smells. I started grabbing an array of different things and placing them on my plate. Once I was satisfied with my food pile I started digging in. 

If I thought the smell was food, the taste was something else entirely. It was the most amazing thing I had ever tasted in my life. I couldn’t get enough of it. I know how quickly I was eating was far from proper, but I didn’t even care. 

Finishing up my last bite of food, I let out a contented sigh and looked up to see three faces staring at me with curious eyes. I felt my cheeks get warm as I looked down at my plate. Who knew cheeks could get warm?

“Um anyway, you ready to go to class Emersyn?” said the girl.

“Class?”

Her curious glance seemed to grow as I responded. 

“Yes, class. History of Magic.”

“Why do we have to study the history of Magic? It’s not as though it’s real.”

Suddenly I had a lot more than just three sets of eyes on me. It felt like the entire long table were giving me curious glances. 

“Blimey, are you sick or something?” said the boy with red hair. 

“Sick? No, I-“ I truly did not know what to say, why was everyone looking so offended and confused when I said magic wasn’t real? Did I get sent to a world of people gone mad? “I must have slept weird last night, foggy brain and what not.”

That seemed to get a few curious eyes to finally look away. All except the three around me. 

“Right, well, off we go then.” The girl said, standing up. I copied her movements, giving the 2 boys a small wave and a slight smile and followed her back out the large wooden doors. 

I continued to follow this girl down a series of different staircases – which moved by the way! – and hallways. I couldn’t stop looking all around me. This place was unlike anything I could have ever dreamed. 

I kept looking and staring and walking until I felt myself bump into something hard. Losing my balance, I tumbled to the floor and fell on my butt. I heard laughs coming from above me and I followed the sound until my eyes landed on the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. 

Like the two boys I had met earlier, this boy also had blue eyes. Beautiful blue eyes that looked like the sky, when it’s at its clearest. His skin was pale and smooth, but not sickly or tired looking like the people in Wayfall. And his hair; his hair was the most shocking shade of blonde I had ever laid my eyes on. It looked almost white in this light. His beautiful features were contorted in what looked like annoyance and hatred. At what though? Me? Did he hate me? I had never even met this boy before. I guess I just have to get used to everyone else know me and me not knowing anyone. 

“Are you even listening Carter? I said watch where you’re going.”

I felt a hand on my elbow urging me to get up. Realizing I was still on the ground, I quickly got up and noticed the girl I had met earlier helping me up. 

“Oh piss off, Malfoy.” She had so much venom in her words. What was going on here? I just continued to stare at the boy in front of me, though his face held so much anger, he really just looked sad. I’ve seen this look ever day when I look in the mirror, so it wasn’t hard to notice. 

The girl started tugging my hand, pulling me around the boy and his group of friends, whispering that it was fine and we just had to get to class and something about ‘stupid Malfoy’.

Then I heard the boy behind me call out. “So weak you have to have a Mudblood help you to class Carter? Didn’t see you as the type.” The girl froze and gasped quietly. I looked over at her and noticed the hurt in her eyes. 

Mudblood.

What did that mean? It couldn’t have been good. The girl looked hurt and it made my heart ache. I may not have known her, but she had been nothing but kind to me so far today. I looked at her in confusion and she shook her head and tried to continue to pull me along to class. I had just started to follow her when I had the boy call after us again. 

“That’s right, run off now. How they even let the likes of you in here in the first place is beyond me.” I stopped. Completely froze. Bullying wasn’t a thing in Wayfall. We had learned it was one of the many flaws of those who came before us and was one of the reasons The All Electorate finally took over. How dare this boy speak to her this way. I may not have a clue what he was talking about, but I knew what hatred sounded like. 

I surprised myself when I suddenly spoke. “Shut your mouth.” The words were quiet, barely heard, but they were they and they were firm.

“What did you just say to me Carter?” 

Turning around, I looked the boy in his sad, blue eyes. “I said, shut your mouth.” I felt the girl tugging on my hand.

“Let’s just so Emersyn, you don’t want to start anything. You’ll get detention with Umbridge.”

“Yeah, Carter. I’d listen to the Mudblood if I were you. Off you go now.” The boy laughed with his friends and began to turn around to walk away, clearly thinking he had won whatever fight he had started.

My feet seemed to move on their own. I felt the girl make a grab for my arm, but I was too quick and too far out of reach. I was behind him in a moment. “Turn around.”

He froze and after a minute, did as he was told and turned around.

“I don’t know who you think you are, but being sad and hating yourself does not give you the right to speak to anyone how you just spoke to my friend.” I don’t know their names, but I hoped my use of words got the point across. 

The boy scoffed and my anger grew. I had never been angry before, at least not like this. Sure, I had been angry at my life. Angry that the world I lived in had no purpose and no true happiness. But this anger was one I had never experienced before. Who did he think he was, speaking to another person like that?

Striding up to him, I gripped the front of his sweater in my fist and pulled him close. Close enough to where I could whisper and he would be the only one to hear it. Staring right into his eyes I noticed they weren’t filled with sadness anymore, but were now filled with something else; fear. He was afraid of me. 

“I want you to listen to me carefully. I may not know what Mudblood means-“ I watched as his eyes quickly flashed with confusion before returning to fear. “but I know what it sounds like when you have hatred in your heart. Speak to my friend like that again and we’ll see what happens.” He nodded. It was small, but it was there. 

Releasing him, I pushed him away from me and we looked at each other for a moment. He looked scared, sad and slightly confused. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but stopped and seemed to decide against it. He turned around and left with his friends and I did the same. 

“Merlin, Emersyn! I’ve never seen you stand up to Malfoy like that before. Thank you, by the way. For standing up for me, that was nice of you.”

I smiled at her, a small smile, but bigger than any of the ones I’ve given since Vera died. “You didn’t deserve him calling you names.”

The rest of the walk to class was silent. As we entered the classroom I was once again shocked by the curious beauty of this place I was in. I sat with my new friend and simply looked around, taking the space in. For the millionth time today, I was pulled out of my thoughts when a voice began to speak.

An older man stood at the front of the classroom. “Good morning class! As mentioned last week, we will begin to study the Werewolf Code of Conduct today.”

Werewolf? I had never heard of a werewolf before. I had heard of wolfs, sure, but this was different. Maybe it was a different kind of species? Why would they need a code of conduct?

“Can anyone tell me why the Code of Conduct was a failure?” The girl next to me quickly shot up her hand.

“Ah, yes. Miss Granger.” The old man said, looking at her. Granger; finally, I had a name. By the sound of it, it was most likely her last name, but close enough for now.

“The Werewolf Code of Conduct was a failure because no one actually showed up to sign it. Because of the stigma that comes along with being a Werewolf in the wizarding society, especially back in 1637; no one wanted to admit to being a Werewolf to sign the papers.”

“Very good Miss Granger, 5 points to Gryffindor.” Granger smiled slightly to herself, clearly proud of her response and the 5 points to “Gryffindor”, whatever that was. 

The class continued to draw on. It was interesting enough, far more interesting than anything we learn in Wayfall. I began to zone out after about the first 45 minutes or so of class until something hit me.

Did that girl say wizarding society? Weren’t Wizards people who have the ability to use magic? Why are we learning about so many stories? Come to think of it, why do we have a class all about the history of magic at all? I need answers. I’ve got to figure out where I am.

When class was over, I followed closely behind Granger as she left class. “Um, Granger?”

She looked at me odd, almost like I had two heads. “Why are you calling me Granger?”

Ignoring her comment, I continued to talk. “Can I ask you something? I think I need your help.” 

“What’s wrong?” We had stopped walking and I was suddenly aware of how many people were walking by us. I couldn’t tell her here. What was I even supposed to say? ‘Hi, you already know who I am, but I have no clue who you are? I’m from a world nothing like this and I don’t know what’s going on. Help?’ No, that was absolutely ridiculous. 

“Is there anywhere we could go?” I said, looking around at all the other students around us. “Maybe somewhere with less people?”

Granger nodded and motioned for me to follow her. After walking for quite some time we found ourselves in what seemed to be an abandoned hallway. It was filled with dust and covered in spider webs, so it clearly hadn’t been used in some time.   
“No one really comes down this hallway, so it should be okay. What did you want to talk about?”

I was quiet for a moment. How was I supposed to say this? I had to tell someone, because there was no way I was going to be able to figure this place out on my own. 

“You’re going to think I’m absolutely mental, but please just hear me out.”

She nodded and I sighed. Here we go, hopefully I wasn’t committed after this.

“I’m not from here.” Granger looked at me with confusion, clearly about to say something, but I cut her off. “I mean I don’t belong here. Not at this school, not at this place – wherever this is – and not in this world and maybe not even in this reality.”

“Merlin, Ron was right. Are you sick?”

I was growing frustrated. I wasn’t sick, I just needed her to listen!

“No! I’m not sick, I’m serious. I’m from a place called Wayfall. It’s lonely, grey and sad. We all look the same, eat the same and talk the same. We’re run by a government called The All Electorate and the night before you turn 19, you go through something called the Choosing. You could wake up in a new place, still you, but somewhere different. You have no memory of this place and no clue how long you’ll even be there for. Yesterday was my choosing and lucky me, I was sent here. I have no clue though where here is. I need help, not to get home, that will come all in due time, but I need to figure out what this place is. Please, Granger.”

I took a deep breath after my speech. I hadn’t realized I didn’t stop to breath, I guess I just wanted to rush it out as quickly as possible, so she wouldn’t be able to interrupt me. 

We were both silent for a long time. Her just staring at me, not saying a word. I didn’t know what else there was to say, so I stayed silent as well. Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, she spoke. 

“Merlin, you’re actually telling the truth, aren’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed chapter 2 and Draco and Emersyn's first meeting ;) I'm hoping to have chapter three out soon! Let me know what you think :)
> 
> xx


	4. Chapter Three

“Did Fred and George put you up to this? I swear those two go too far sometimes.” Ron huffed as he stood up from the common room couch and threw his arms out to the side.

After I told Hermione about my little predicament she immediately took me to find Ron and Harry. Thankfully, she was able to tell me a few things on the way, like their names and where we were. I still couldn’t believe it.

Hogwarts.

A school for witches and wizards. Who would have ever guessed I’d be sent here? 

“I don’t even know who Fred and George are! How could they have put me up to this?” 

“Merlin, I can’t believe this. I’ve known you since first year! We met on the Hogwarts Express! Come on Emersyn!” Ron was getting frustrated. He was pacing in front of the fireplace and was beginning to pull at his hair with his right hand. With every step he took, it’s almost as if his face got even closer to his hair color. 

“Ron, I told you already for the millionth time! I don’t know you. I don’t know anyone for graces sake! I am from Wayfall. I was Chosen. I feel like I should be a little bit more upset here than you. At least you know people! You have your life, your friends, your family. I have no knowledge of this place, when I’ll be going home – if at all. I –“

“Wait.” Hermione said, cutting me off. “What do you mean ‘if at all’?” 

I sighed, sinking deeper into the couch I was sitting it. It was so warm and comfortable; we don’t have chairs like this back in Wayfall. “Some people don’t wake up. No one knows why, but they never come back. Their bodies are taken by the government and disposed of properly.”

Harry cringed. “I’m sorry this has happened to you.”

I gave him a small smile. “Thank you. I knew it was a possibility, but I never thought I’d be sent to a place like this.”

“You lot don’t actually believe her, right? This has got to be a joke. Emersyn, we’ve known you for years!”

Hermione stood up quickly, clearly getting frustrated with Ron. “Ron would you just knock it off? You’re making her feel bad. Why would she lie about this?”

That seemed to make Ron stop for a moment. His hand relaxed in his hair and his pacing slowed. “I- I don’t know. It’s just- I have memories with you Emersyn, years worth of memories with you and you don’t remember any of them. You’ve been here for 5 years! Is that person gone? What happens when you leave? Does your body go too or will we get the Emersyn we know back?” 

I had never thought of that. How did these people know me? Did I steal someone else’s life? I couldn’t have, I mean I look exactly like myself. It’s not some random person, I’m me. But what of their memories? Their experiences? I had no memory of any of these people, how can they have known me for years if I’ve never been here?

“Ron, I- I’m so sorry, but I don’t know. We don’t know anything in Wayfall about the Choosing. I don’t know what happens when I leave, all I know is that I’ll get a 24-hour notice, almost like a timer on my wrist. When it hits 0, I guess I go home.” I felt so helpless. These poor people basically just lost a friend. Yes, they know me, they’ve known me for years, but they don’t truly know me. They know someone else, a different Emersyn Carter, not the one they’re stuck with now. 

Ron sighed, letting go of his hair and sitting back down on the couch next to Harry. “It’s alright. I know you don’t have much of a choice in this. It just seems so impossible.”

I chuckled, surprising myself. I hadn’t so much as cracked a smile since Vera died and here I was chuckling. “You lot can do actual magic and still this surprises you?”

Ron looked at me and smiled for the first time since I’ve known him. “I guess you got me there.”

We all sat in silence for a while. Me, staring at the fire. Them, trying to secretly stare at me. They weren’t doing a very good job at being stealthy about it, but I let them look, because I know this was hard for them. I’d had years to get used to this idea, they had mere minutes.

“So, what do we do?” Harry asked, breaking the silence.

I shrugged. I didn’t know what to do. I honestly had no clue. I guess I go on with this new life I’ve been given. Try to make sense of this world I’ve been thrown into and then eventually either die or have it stolen right back from under me.

“Well, right now we go to class.” Hermione said, standing up and brushing down her skirt. “Break is almost over and we have Potions with Snape next, so we can’t be late. Let’s meet tonight and think of a plan.” 

Hermione began walking away, calling over her shoulder “Coming Emersyn?” 

I stood up and began to follow Hermione before quickly turning around and walking over to Ron. Giving him a small smile, I put my hand on her shoulder and looked down at him. His blue eyes held sadness. I knew this was hitting him harder than the other two and I felt horrible, seeing as it was my fault. “Ron, for what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry. I wish I had those memories you have. I wish I didn’t have to take this from you. I hope we can be friends though, maybe even make some new memories.” 

Ron looked at me for a moment before nodding and giving me a small, sad smile. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

Hermione and I walked to Potions as she filled me in on the class we were about to attend. Harry and Ron followed closely behind us, having a conversation of their own. I think I heard something about a “Dumbledore’s Army”, whatever that was. I’d have to ask about that later. What would they need an Army for? Was there a war?

Wayfall didn’t have a military or an Army, since there was no need for one. We had a small group we called “The Enforcers” that worked for the government and kept people to their schedules, but that was about it. They were mostly there as a reminder for everyone to stay in their place. 

“We have potions with Slytherin next, Professor Snape teaches the class. For right now I would try to stay unnoticed. Professor Snape already doesn’t take well to Gryffindors; I imagine it’d be worse if he found out you had absolutely no clue what you were doing.”

I cringed, but Hermione had a point. I had no clue what I was doing. Everyone else had five whole years to learn and practice their magic. I hadn’t tried yet, but what if I didn’t have any magic now that it was me? Would I be able to remember any spells? Maybe it was hidden away somewhere in my brain. 

“By the way, Professor Snape thought it would be a good idea to mix us up by house this year. So each Gryffindor is paired with a Slytherin. It’s kind of first come, first serve seating type thing.” 

Just as Hermione finished explaining the seating to me we walked into the dungeons, which is where Potions was held. Quickly I realized we were running behind, we were the last of the students to get to class and there weren’t many seats left. Harry and Ron quickly grabbed some seats towards the middle of the classroom and I realized there were only two seats left. One, next to some dark haired boy and the other next to that awful boy I had the displeasure of running into earlier, I think Hermione had called him Malfoy. 

I looked at Hermione and she looked apprehensive, quickly glancing between the two seats. I could tell she was deciding where to sit. I had a feeling Hermione wanted to sit with anyone but Malfoy, seeing as her called her some name earlier, so I made the decision for her and started on my journey to Malfoy’s table. 

“Couldn’t stay away could you?” He said with a smirk. 

I ignored him, sitting down in my seat and unpacking my things. Hermione had shown me where my things were during break. 

“Nothing to say Carter? You sure had a big mouth earlier today, what happened to all that Gryffindor bravery?” 

Once again, I continued to ignore the boy with the sad eyes. I had never met anyone like him before. Not only had I never seen someone with hair as blonde as his or eyes as blue; I had never met anyone as mean as him either. In Wayfall we are all short and cordial; not mean, but not nice either. Rudeness was strictly forbidden; we were told it is what separated us from those that came before us. They were rotten and mean and hateful, which is why they failed and we thrived.

Malfoy seemed to grow bored of trying to get a reaction out of me and went about setting out his items for class. Soon enough a tall, dark haired man strode in through the door. He wore long black robes and had an air about him that made me want to curl in on myself. He faced the class and was silent for some time before he simply said “Who can tell me what ingredients are needed to make Deflating Draught?”

His voice had no inflection, simply lifeless. I could tell why Hermione told me to stay unnoticed, he seemed like the type of man to not take lightly to those without the answers. 

Hermione had her hand raised but what felt like minutes, but Professor Snape continued to stare at the class in silence. As if waiting for someone else; anyone else to answer. Eventually, when no one else raised their hand, he let out a sigh and called on Hermione. “Miss Granger.”

“Deflating Draught is used to bring anything swollen back to their normal size. Ingredients include water, wood sorrel, sagebrush, aloe and galangal.” Hermione looked pleased with herself. From our two classes together today I could tell she was extremely smart and gifted, she seemed like she had the answers to everything. 

“I asked for the ingredients only, not what the potion was used for, Miss Granger. 5 points from Gryffindor.” My mouth hung open. I had no clue how the point system worked here, but that made absolutely no sense. She had answered the question correctly and added extra information, how ridiculous to take points away for correct answers. 

I heard Malfoy snicker next to me. Glaring at him, I lowered my voice to an angry whisper, hoping Professor Snape wouldn’t hear me. “Oh piss off, Malfoy.” I heard Hermione say that to him early and I assumed it was some sort of response to a nasty or annoying remark, so I thought it was fitting to use in this moment. 

“Then what eye candy would you have to look at, blood traitor?” 

Blood traitor? Why is he so obsessed with blood? First Mudblood and now blood traitor. I’d have to ask Hermione, Harry and Ron about that later when we met. 

“Think we could use the Deflating Draught on your ego, Malfoy?”

Malfoy looked shocked that I spoke back. I was even shocked that I had spoken back. In Wayfall you’re taught to be silent, calm and collected. Only speak when you are spoken to. But here, at Hogwarts I felt like someone else. There weren’t rules to stop me from standing up for myself or my friends. Maybe this was the real me all along but I didn’t have the opportunity to find out.

Professor Snape tasked us with creating a Deflating Draught for the remainder of class time. Malfoy and I worked in silence and I let him do most the work, considering I had no clue what was going on and I honestly didn’t know if you could even make a potion without magic. And I still had no clue where I stood on that matter. I had a wand, Hermione showed it to me when she was showing me the rest of my stuff. She explained that it was 12 ¼” Walnut wood with unicorn hair core and that it had an unbending flexibility, whatever that meant. She said she would explain it later, but I had no clue if I could even use it. 

Throughout the rest of Potions, Malfoy kept giving me curious glances and I felt myself growing nervous. Yes, Harry, Ron and Hermione took well to the news of my choosing, but who knows how other students would feel. I wasn’t planning on finding out, so I didn’t want any other students knowing. What if they thought I was crazy, or took me and wanted to run tests or someone worse? 

Was I acting as the Emersyn Carter everyone here knew? What was she like? I’d have to file that away, along with my million other questions for Hermione, Harry and Ron later. As we were cleaning up our desks after potions Professor Snape spoke, “Remember you have an essay due next week on the properties of Moonstone and its uses in Potion making. To make things easier on me, I’ve decided to require a ‘rough draft’ due at the end of this week, seeing as I’d prefer not to look at your unpolished idiotic thoughts and waste my time. Rough drafts will be given to a partner, which is who you are sitting with in the moment. These seats are permanent through the end of the school year. Dismissed.”

As Professor Snape walked out, I couldn’t help but let out a groan. I had to sit next to Malfoy for the rest of the year. How long even was the rest of the year? Oh my graces, I don’t even know what day it is.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts I turned to look at Malfoy only to find that he had already left and Hermione stood in his place. “Come on, we have lunch next.” 

That made me move ten times quicker, knowing that delicious food I had for breakfast was once again in my sights and soon to be in my stomach. 

✹✹✹

The rest of the day had gone quickly, seeing as I only had two classes left. Divination, which was interesting to day the least. I had never experienced anything like it. Then I had Defense Against the Dark Arts with a woman named Professor Umbridge. She seemed like an awful human being and I was not looking forward to attending her class again. 

I found myself sitting with Harry, Ron and Hermione in a circle in front of the fireplace in the common room. It was late, I had no clue what time, but no one else was in the common room but us. 

“So, what are we supposed to talk about? We know why she’s here and we can’t find a way to get her back.” Ron said, staring into the fire. 

“I’m mostly worried about having other people find out about her situation. Imagine he-who-must-not-be-named finding out she came from a different reality somehow! He’d kill her trying to figure out how she got here.” Hermione said in a hushed tone and I cringed. Kill? Could I die here?

“Who is he-who-must-not-be-named?” I asked, confused. Why couldn’t they say his name?

Harry looked nervous and cleared his throat before he responded. “A long time ago there was a boy who went to school here at Hogwarts named Tom Riddle. Tom sought the power of immortality. He wanted to beat death.”

“No one can beat death.” I responded.

“Yes, well Tom Riddle tried. He hurt a lot of people in the process and in turn he became something horrible and ugly. On the inside and out. He’s killed a lot of innocent people, including my parents. That’s how I got this scar. He’s still out there somewhere and I’ll stop him eventually, but for now we’re safe in here. But Hermione is right, if he catches wind of how you got here he’s going to want to know and knowing him, he’ll do anything it takes to find out.”

“But, I don’t even know how I got here!” 

“I know, but-“

“No, I’m not finished! Why do you have to be the one to stop him Harry? You’re just a boy! Surely there are adults around here who could stop him, are there not?” His parents, killed by some monster named Tom Riddle and a 16-year-old boy is the one tasked with stopping him?

Harry sighed, looking down at his hands. “I’m the only one who can Emersyn. But that doesn’t matter at the moment. Now we have to talk about how to make it so no one else finds out about you.”

I thought hit me suddenly, from when we were walking to Potions this morning. “Is that what the Army is for? Dumbledore’s Army? Is it to stop Tom Riddle?” 

I could see them all suddenly go still, trying to discreetly look at each other and decide how to answer my question. Just by their reactions alone I could tell that I was right.

“Fine, I want in. Let me help, please. You’re all being so kind and helping me to make sure I’m safe, let me do the same for you.”

Hermione shook her head. “No. I mean- we don’t know if you can even do magic!”

I looked down at my hand in my hands and frowned. She was right really; we didn’t even know if I could still do magic. What if I couldn’t? That sure would make blending in around here a lot more difficult. 

Everyone was silent for a while, the only sound being the crackling of the wood in the fireplace. Suddenly, in the silence, I got an idea! Snapping my head up I quickly pointed my wand out in front of me. “Well, let’s see then!”

They all flinched, backing away. “Emersyn, you can’t just point your wand at people like that, especially if you don’t know how to use it.” Harry said, reaching over to gently lower my arm back down into my lap.

“She’s right you know.” Hermione said, reaching into her bag for something. “The only way to know is to test it.” 

“In here?! She could bloody well kill us!” Ron was still backed away from our circle, even though my wand was down and both Harry and Hermione had come back. 

Hermione finally pulled what she was searching for out of her bag. A single quill, which she placed gently on the floor in the middle of our circle. “Hush Ron, we’re just going to try simple spells. First year stuff.”

This seemed to calm Ron down slightly, but he still made no attempt to rejoin our circle. Hermione took out her wand and pointed it at the quill on the floor. “Wingardium Leviosa.” Before I could even blink the quill had slowly begun to rise from the floor, floating around our heads in the air. I was in awe. Sure, I knew that the people around me had magic, but I hadn’t actually seen any of them really use it. Seeing someone actually make something happen with magic, even as simple as floating a quill in the air, was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. 

After placing the quill gently back down on the ground in front of us, Hermione turned to me. “Okay, now you try. Point your wand at the quill, flick your wrist like so, and say ‘Wingardium Leviosa’.” 

I looked at the quill on the floor cautiously. I guess this was it, time to see if I had magic or not. Doing as Hermione showed me, I pointed my wand at the quill. “Wingardium Leviosa” Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. Everyone, including myself just looked at the quill until Hermione went to reach for it. “It’s no big deal Emersyn. We’ll figure something out.”

Quickly, I stopped her hand from reaching for the quill. “Just let me- Just let me try one more time. Please?” Hermione nodded at me and backed away, giving me a small encouraging smile.

I looked at the quill again, feeling more determined than before. “Wingardium Leviosa” for a moment nothing happened, I thought I had failed again. That was until slowly, very slowly, the quill started to rise from the floor and up into the air. 

“Bloody hell, she did it.” I heard Ron whisper, but I was too busy staring at the quill in the air to respond. I had done it! I was a witch! Oh my graces, I was a witch.

Excited, I jumped up and threw my hands to the side. “I did it!” I heard Ron make a choking sound and when I looked over I realized I had accidentally flung the fluffy end of the quill into his open mouth during my outburst.

He pulled it out of his mouth and tossed it back down on to the floor. “Next time, make sure you put the quill back down first before throwing a party.” He grumbled.

I felt my cheeks heat up again as I slowly sat back down in the circle and mumbled a quick ‘sorry’.

“Brilliant!” Harry said from beside me. “You might not have the memory, but you have the magic! That’s quite a start.”

“You’ll need to do a lot of studying to make up for 5 missed years of knowledge, but if you meet with one of us every day, we should be able to catch you up pretty quick!” Hermione was smiling now. It was a relieved kind of smile and it made me feel comforted to see. I was going to be okay here, at least for the time being.

Ron yawned and began to stretch and Hermione gave him a slightly annoyed look. “Yes, well it is getting late. We should all head up to bed. We can meet again tomorrow and make a schedule to each meet with Emersyn to teach her spells and such.” 

Harry and Ron agreed and made their way up to their dorms, Hermione and I following their lead and heading to ours. As we walked up the stairs I decided now was a good time as any to ask Hermione about something that happened earlier that day. 

“Hey Hermione?” 

“Hm?” She hummed quietly, keeping her focus on the stairs ahead of her.

“What’s a Mudblood? I heard Malfoy call you that earlier and I noticed you looked upset.” 

Hermione’s steps faltered for a moment before she continued to walk. “It’s a nasty name for witches or wizards who are muggle born.”

“What’s a muggle?” I asked, confused. There were so many terms to keep up with around here, how was I ever going to remember?

“A non-magic person. My parents aren’t magic, so some people believe that being muggle born makes me a lesser witch. Mudblood is simply a nasty name for people like me.” 

I was shocked at how cruel someone could be all because of who their parents were. “Does that make me a Mudblood” I asked “Since technically my parents are muggles?”

Hermione chuckled. “No, your parents are actually both magic. You’re a pureblood here in this world.” 

“Then why did Malfoy call me a blood traitor?”

“Because you hang around with the likes of me.” The words were soft, but they were still there and they burned through my heart. This girl had been nothing but kind to me today. She went out of her way to help me and is making sure I stay safe here in this world. It’s clear she’s extremely smart and a very talented witch, yet people call her names and think her lesser because of who she was born to? It was absolutely ridiculous to me. 

I guess I understood slightly, since it was similar to how it is in Wayfall. You can never go higher than the providence you were born in. 

I looked at her then, truly looked at her and smiled. She reminded me of Vera in a way with her honey brown hair. “I quite like hanging around the likes of you Hermione Granger.” Hermione looked back at me and smiled as we entered our room. Our two other roommates fast asleep in their beds. 

“Get some sleep Emersyn, you’ve got a long journey ahead of you.” She said as she changed into her sleep clothes and got in bed. As I did the same I couldn’t help but think about my first day here at Hogwarts. 

Everything was so different from Wayfall, yet I could see the similarities. The class system was something I’ve always had a huge problem with. The only difference though is that here; I wouldn’t be killed for standing up for what’s right. Hermione was my friend, the closest I’ve gotten since Vera, and I wasn’t about to let some sad little boys bully her. 

That Malfoy doesn’t know what’s coming for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed chapter 3!! Let me know what you think so far :) Hopefully chapter 4 will be done soon!!
> 
> xx


	5. Chapter Four

The week flew by faster than time had ever gone before. Maybe it was because for once, life was actually, well, nice. Hermione, Harry and Ron were all so wonderful and kind. I had been meeting with them all week to go over simple charms and spells. So far I had learned how to make fire, make light come out of my wand, to lock and unlock things and a few more “first-year” charms as Hermione called them. I also learned how to turn a desk into a pig. A pig! Who would have ever guessed I’d be able to do that? 

Harry also said he’d teach me how to fly on Saturday and I’d been looking forward to it all week. As for right now, it was Friday and classes were finally over. I couldn’t help but think I’d only been here a week and I still felt like I had lived more here than in my almost 19 years in Wayfall. The classes were beyond interesting, besides Defense Against the Dark Arts, of course. My favorite had been Care of Magical Creatures. We’d learned about Thestrals this week, but I couldn’t see them, which I guess was a good thing.

I had a few more hours before I was meant to meet with Ron, since today was his turn to teach me, so I thought what better time to finally explore the grounds? The castle itself was huge and I knew I’d never know all its secrets, but I had yet to really explore outside. 

After walking for some time I found myself at the foot of a body of water. I knew it was a lake, but I had never seen one before. For a while I just stared. It was beautiful, so blue and calm. I could hear the wind blowing through the mountain of trees surrounding me and the lake and eventually I felt myself breathing with the wind. 

I moved closer to the lake, taking off my shoes. I had to know what it felt like, because who knew when or if I’d ever get this chance again. Every morning when I wake up I find myself checking my wrist for my notice and every time it’s not there I feel a relief unlike any other. I knew that one day it would be there though and all of this would be gone. 

The lake. The trees. The Food. My friends. I had actually made friends and it broke my heart to know that any day they could be taken from me. 

Finally reaching the shore, I carefully toed my way into the water. It was cold, but my graces I felt alive. Looking at something so large just simply reminded me of how small I truly was and I loved it. This world has meaning and life and in this moment all I wanted to do was live in it. 

I let myself stand there in the cold water for a second. Eyes closed, just listening to the wind in the trees and the soft noises from the animals in the forest. 

“Carter!” 

I jumped, being immediately pulled from my peaceful state. Confused, I turned around to find none other than Draco Malfoy. Harry had told me about him this past week. A pureblood who comes from a long line of hateful, cruel people. He’d told me stories of the ways Malfoy had tormented him, Ron, Hermione and some of the other students through the years and it truly made me sick. He had tried goading me to talk to him some this past week, but I eventually learned to tune him out. Soon he realized I wasn’t going to be giving him the reaction he wanted and he stopped trying. 

“Malfoy.” I said, turning back to the lake in front of me. Maybe if I just ignored him he’d go away.

It was clearly wistful thinking though, because the next time I knew there was a hand grabbing my arm and spinning me around. His blue eyes were blazing with anger and his mouth was set in a hard line. 

For a moment I was too shocked to move, but his grip on my arm had become too tight and it was beginning to hurt. I yanked my arm out of his grasp and tried to step around him to grab my shoes so I could make a hasty exit, but Malfoy was clearly not having any of that. 

“What’s your problem Malfoy?” 

“What’s my problem?” He sneered at me. “My problem is that I waited in the Library for an hour. A bloody hour!” 

Waited? For who? Me? I was confused and it was clear he could see it written all over my face, which clearly made him fume harder. 

“Our Potions rough draft. Snape wanted table partners to meet and go over rough drafts. Merlin, are you really that dim witted that you forgot? I should have guessed seeing who you choose to spend your time with.” 

“Do not speak about my friends like that.” I said through my teeth. 

Yes, I had forgotten and I did feel slightly bad; I had made him wait for an hour after all. But to come out here and begin attacking my intelligence and my friends? That was crossing a line. 

“I can do as I please and you’d be smart to remember that, blood traitor.”

He was in my face now, close enough that I could feel his breath fanning across my face as he spoke. I pushed on his chest, trying to get some space.

After glaring at me for another moment he began to walk backwards. “Library. 30 minutes.”

30 minutes? I had to meet with Ron in 20! I couldn’t blow him off, especially not for the likes of Malfoy!

“Absolutely not! I have things to do. You can’t just demand I’ll meet you somewhere. I’m sorry I forgot about our meeting, but we’ll just have to schedule for later tonight or sometime tomorrow.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. We’re meeting in 30 minutes and if you’re even 30 seconds late, I’ll tell Snape you never showed up.”

Now it was my turn to get into his space. I poked a finger at his chest. “Fine, do that! I’ll just tell him you’re lying.”

That sentence seemed to amuse Malfoy, making him give a small chuckle as he looked down his nose at me. “Fine, then I’ll tell him you’re lying. Now which one of us do you think he’s going to believe Carter.” He spit my name out at me like it was some foul word he couldn’t get rid of fast enough.

I opened my mouth to argue back at him, but quickly stopped. Malfoy was right. Professor Snape wouldn’t believe me over Malfoy. It had been clear in Potions that while he would take points form Gryffindor for so much as breathing to loudly, he would give points to Slytherin for something as simple as blinking. 

Backing up, I frowned. “Fine. 30 minutes.” 

Then, he was gone. 

I was fuming. I rushed to put my shoes on because I knew I was going to need to find Ron before I met with Draco so I could tell him I couldn’t make it tonight. Plus, I was going to need to go up to my room to find my essay.

The sky was darkening by the time I reached the castle and I was so focused on making it up to the dorms, I hadn’t even been watching where I was going. Bumping into something, I almost had a repeat of my first day here until a pair of hands steadied me on my feet. 

Looking up a saw blue eyes and a head full of red hair. Ron. I smiled. 

“Thanks for that. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking.”

“No worries. Since we’re already here do you want to get started early? I was thinking we could actually look at a few year two spells tonight! You’re going to get a kick out of the Dancing Feet Spell.” 

“Yeah! That sounds nice!” 

With a smile, Ron began to lead me the opposite direction of the dorms when I suddenly remembered.

“Oh wait! Ron I’m so sorry, I’m going to have to cancel tonight.” 

“Why?”

“You know how Professor Snape wanted us to meet with our table partners to go over our rough drafts? I completely forgot and blew off Malfoy, so he said if I don’t meet him in the library in, well I think about 15 minutes now, he’s going to tell Professor Snape I blew him off.”

Ron frowned slightly at the mention of Malfoy’s name, but quickly recovered and replaced it with a smile. “No worries, Malfoy can be a git. I can walk you to the dorms and the library and we can meet in the common room when you’re done?”

Nodding, Ron and I took off toward the common room. I actually quite liked Ron. He was nice and rather smart, even though he told me that Hermione was the smart one in their friend group. Once he got over the initial shock of my predicament, he’d been really helpful this week and I had never smiled or laughed as much as I did then during our lessons together. 

I studied him as we walked to the library after getting my things from my room. He had kind eyes and a smile that just contagious. When he looked at me sometimes I seemed to get a weird feeling in my stomach that I had never had before. 

I wasn’t a fool though, I knew I slightly fancied him, but I would never tell him or anyone else for that matter. It would be unfair of me to like anyone here when there is a chance I could be leaving any day now; even if I spent 50 years here, I could never put that burden on someone else to wonder when I’d suddenly disappear. 

Plus, I had a feeling him and the Emersyn he knew were quite close and I wonder how I’d live up to her. I hadn’t really had a chance to ask anyone what she was like and if I’m being completely truthful, I was worried that soon they would resent me for taking her away.

“Ron? Mind if I ask you something.”

“Sure, go on.” He said turning to me with his kind smile. We were almost at the library now.

“I was wondering if you could tell me a little about the girl you remember, Emersyn.” 

His smile faltered some and changed, it was more sad now than happy. “We met on the Hogwarts express our first year. Gave me her chocolate frog cause it freaked her by how they were moving. It was like she was the best of all three of us. She was brave like Harry, smart like Hermione and well I don’t really know how she was like me, but she made me smile.”

I frowned. How could I ever live up to that? “Am I anything like her?”

Ron seemed to study me for a moment. “I reckon you are. You pick up spells quick, you got thrown into a new world and you were ready to join our army the same day. It’s almost like you have characteristics of her, but it’s just not quite the same. Not in a bad way though.”

“Do you ever wonder if the memories are real?”

Ron stopped suddenly, turning towards me completely. “Real?”

“What if… me being here gave people false memories so I’d seem more real?”

“No. She was real… She can’t… I- um, I’ll see you later tonight, alright? Good luck with Malfoy.” 

Before I could even open my mouth to respond, he was walking in the other direction. Ugh, stupid! Why would I question his memories? It just hurt so much to think that I had taken something from them, from him. Above all that, it seemed to be someone he was quite fond of.

Letting out a sigh I realized I only had a minute or two to find Malfoy in the library. So with a shake of my head and another quick glance in the direction Ron ran off to, I set in motion to find Malfoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!  
> Sorry for the short chapter, it’s actually kinda hard to find time to write during the week lol, but I promise to have a longer chapter or two to make up for it this weekend! Also, yes Emersyn has a slight crush on Ron because I’m definitely a Weasley girl at heart, even though I love Draco too. Don’t you fret though, this is still a Draco Fic, but why not have some fun when we’re getting on with the slow burn Draco love?
> 
> Also, a big thank you to Danna_is_a_nerd for being my first Kudos!! <3
> 
> xx  
> R


	6. Chapter Five

It wasn’t difficult to spot the bright blonde hair in the back of the library. He had his back to me and I took the moment to pause my trek to the table and study the boy for a moment. In the week I had known him he had been nothing but rude, hateful and cruel to those around him, even the people he deemed friends. But when he was alone, he seemed different. 

He was smart. Second in our year apparently, behind Hermione that is. He worked hard and despite himself he always seemed pleased when a professor would give him points or compliment his work. Watching him now though, he seemed to cave in on himself. His shoulders were slumped over the book he was reading and his head down. I wonder sometimes if he truly is as hateful as he comes across, or if it’s all just an act.

“Are you going to keep burning a hole into the back of my head or are you actually going to come sit down so we can get this over with?” 

His voice made me jump and I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He had caught me studying him and even though he wasn’t turned to face me still, I could all but hear the smirk in his voice. 

With a sigh I moved around him towards the seat on the other side of the table. “Sorry, I had to tell Ron-“

“Like I bloody care what the two most annoying blood traitors in the wizarding world talk about. Can we just get this over with? I don’t want anyone to see me associating myself with the likes of you.”

Suddenly, the redness of the cheeks wasn’t from embarrassment, but rather anger. The thought that maybe he wasn’t as hateful as he came across, was very clearly a load of rubbish. Draco Malfoy was an entitled, annoying little prat. 

Sitting down, I began to pull my books and supplies out of my bag. “If you’re so embarrassed to be seen with ‘the likes of me’ why even insist to meet?”

Malfoy gave me a look you’d give to a petulant child, which seemed to make my blood boil even more. “I’m not losing house points because I disobeyed Snape.”

“You said it yourself, Snape would believe anything you say. Why not just lie?” I sneered

“Like he wouldn’t be able to tell the moment your rubbish paper came across his desk for grading? It would be very clear that I hadn’t spared a moment to help you.”

Before I could even open my mouth to respond Malfoy snatched my essay out of my hands. He was silent for a moment as he glanced over my essay, blue eyes following the written lines. “Well look at that, seems as though you’re not as worthless as I initially thought.” 

I had had enough of his insults. It’s as though he couldn’t say a single sentence without having to say at least one rude thing about me. Snatching my paper back, I started putting my things back into my bag. “Running off already Carter? You didn’t even look at my essay, how rude.”

“Sod off Malfoy, I’ll get help from somewhere else. I’m sick of you having a go at me every time you open your mouth.” 

“Yeah and who are you going to ask? Weaslebee? Like he would be of much help to anyone, I’m surprised he even knows how to walk.” Malfoy scoffed. All week he had been insulting not only me, but my friends and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“You know what Malfoy; I think you’re jealous of Ron because he actually has people who care about him. You on the other hand have people who are simply scared of you. It gives me a right laugh to think about how when school finally ends, you’ll have no one but your sad self and possibly a girl who only cares about your blood status and your money. You’re pathetic.” Anger flashed in his eyes as he stood up, moving into my space. I took a step back and he took a step forward, there was no escaping him. 

“I’d be careful who you call pathetic Carter. Don’t act like you know me or like you got me all figured out because you know nothing. One day, you’ll eat your words and you’ll wish you were dead.” He eyed me for another moment in silence. Our chests were both heaving in anger, I could feel his breath fan across my face for the second time tonight and I couldn’t think.

I had nothing else to say. He was right; I didn’t know him. I didn’t know anyone. I had only been here for less than a week and the thought made me suddenly claustrophobic. I couldn’t breathe. This was all wrong. I wasn’t meant to be here. I had to get out; go. 

I began to push on Malfoy’s chest to get some space, so I could make my escape but his cold hands grabbed my wrists. “It’s not like you to run away from a fight Carter.”

Looking up at him, he was blurry and I knew it was because tears were gathering in my eyes. “Let. Me. Go.” I said quietly. He took in my face for another minute as the first tear slipped down my cheek. Silently he released me and took a step back, giving me the space I craved to retreat to who knows where. 

Without even a second glance, I grabbed the rest of my things and took off. It wasn’t what Malfoy said that had set me off, rather the idea of what he said. It hadn’t fully hit me that I wasn’t in Wayfall anymore. Fear. That’s all I could feel as I ran through the empty halls of Hogwarts. 

I wasn’t meant to be here. Magic. Evil professors. Rude remarks. Kind smiles. True laughs. Those aren’t real. Not for me. All week I had let myself believe they could be though. I let myself fall into a routine of delicious food and long nights of learning and I let myself forget it could be over in a moment. I let myself believe these people were my friends, even though in reality they aren’t. They were friends with a memory. A memory with my face. 

I turned down an empty hallway and my lungs burned. I dropped my bag and slid down the wall. Hands on my face, I sobbed. I had only ever cried once before. The day I found out Vera was gone. I waited until bed time and let the tears leave my eyes silently as I thought of my only friend. 

These tears were different. I couldn’t hold back my gasps for breath, as I pushed on my eyes like I could somehow get the tears to stop flowing. As much as I loathed Wayfall, I didn’t want to be here any longer. I wanted to give these kind people their friend back; if that was even possible. I didn’t want to get used to this place and this life to have it taken. I wanted to go back to perfect trees and bland food and tight smiles. 

A voice brought me out of my thoughts. “Emersyn?”

Ron.

Looking up, I found him before me. Kind eyes and a worried look on his face. “What’s wrong? Did Malfoy do something?” I shook my head no, because in all honesty; Malfoy didn’t do anything. This was all me. 

“Ron, I’m so sorry.” I croaked. My throat felt tight and dry. 

Ron sat down next to me and pulled me closer to him. I hadn’t been hugged since I was a child and it was instantly calming.

“Sorry?” He asked, rubbing soothing circles on my back. 

“I stole a friend from you and now you have to help me.” The tears began to fall again, this time silently and less aggressively. 

“Emersyn, I don’t blame you. Sure, it’s taking some getting used to, but you’re quite lovely yourself. So it’s almost like I gained a new friend.”

I smiled a sad smile. “You fancied her didn’t you?” I asked. I could tell by the stories he would share with me of his memories this week that he cared deeply for the girl he remembered. 

He was silent for quite some time as I continued to calm myself and the tears stopped. It was quiet was he finally spoke. “I did. Never told her though, too nervous.” He chuckled and it made my heart ache for him.  
“I bet she fancied you too, Ron. I mean, who wouldn’t?” I said, looking up at him. He met my eyes as his cheeks slowly turned the color of his hair. 

“You really reckon?” 

“I do.” He smiled at me and watched me for a moment before going back to looking at the wall and rubbing circles onto my back. The silence was comforting and Ron was warm and kind. The tears stopped and the walls didn’t feel like they were closing in anymore. As my mind cleared, a thought hit me. 

“Hey, Ron? How did you find me?” I asked.

It was subtle, but I felt him stiffen beside me, clearly a little nervous. “Oh, I was just walking around. Prefect rounds and all that.” 

That puzzled me because I had learned that rounds were done in pairs of twos and I didn’t see anyone else with Ron. “This part of the castle is abandoned though, why are you doing rounds up here?” 

As Ron was clearly trying to come up with a good lie, I suddenly heard another voice. “Oy, Ron! There you are, we thought you got lost!” Looking up I saw Ron’s sister, Ginny. I had only met her once or twice this past week, but I couldn’t mistake the red hair. 

Once she saw me though, she seemed to stop in her tracks. “Oh, um hey Emersyn.” Her smile was tight and nervous, like Ron’s.

“We?” I asked, pulling back from Ron and standing up. 

Ron stood quickly and brushed off his pants, when I went to look back at Ginny there was something different about the space around us. “Wait, was that door there a minute ago?” I said, looking at a door in a wall that was definitely not there a moment ago. 

“What? Oh, yeah! That door was there; you must not have noticed while you were crying.” Ron said, brushing the comment off and going to grab my bags for me. “Let’s get you back to the dorms, I’ll catch you later Ginny.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and began to turn me away from the hallway and the mysterious door. 

I dug my heels into the stone floor and ducked under Ron’s arm. He was hiding something and I wanted to know what. Before he had a chance to stop me I grabbed hold of the door’s handle and pulled it open. 

Everything seemed to stop. There was a good bit of people in the room; including a few people I had met this week. Harry, Hermione, Luna, the twins, Neville, Cho Change and some others a hadn’t seen before and they had all stopped what they were doing and had turned to face me in the doorway. 

It was clear they had been practicing spells. Why had they tried to hide this from me? They were only practicing spells, why wasn’t I allowed to know?

“Um, Ginny. Could you keep everyone going with practicing?” Harry said, as him and Hermione stepped out the door to Ron and I. Ginny nodded, going back into the room and closing the door. Now it was just Harry, Ron, Hermione and I outside in the empty abandoned hallway. 

“Why is this a secret?” I asked, hurt. I know they had no reason to have to tell me, but it hurt considering I had told them my biggest secret and they didn’t trust me to tell me what was going on. 

“It wasn’t to be hurtful.” Harry said. “Look, we just felt like you had enough to worry about.” 

“What is even going on in there?” I asked, peaking my head around Harry’s shoulder to get another look at the door. 

The three friends looked at each other. “Fine, if you don’t tell me I’ll just ask every single person I saw in that room. I’m sure with enough pressure Neville will spill.” 

Hermione sighed. “It’s Dumbledore’s Army. You asked about it earlier this week. We’re practicing defense spells.”

It all clicked into place. I had heard them talk about Dumbledore’s Army a few times this week. Tom Riddle was a threat and the new defense against the darks arts teacher wasn’t actually teaching us any spells.

“Oh, okay.” I said. My acceptance of the topic seemed to make them all visibly relax. “I want in.” 

“Absolutely not.” Ron immediately said. I turned to give him a glare and he didn’t look away. 

“Why not? I can help! You need more people, let me join!” 

“Emersyn, I don’t mean for this to come across as rude, but you’re at an advanced first year level at best. These are advanced spells, even some of the older years in there are having a difficult time.” Hermione said, giving Ron a harsh look.

“I can learn! Just like they can, I can learn. I’ve learned a year’s worth of spells in a week. Let me help, give me a chance.” I wanted to help them, just as they were helping me. It was the least I could do.

“No.” I turned to glare at Ron again. What was his problem?

“Ron, knock it off.” Harry said. “It’s not that we don’t want your help, Emersyn. You’re just not advanced enough for these kinds of spells. We don’t want you to get hurt.” 

“Well, shouldn’t that be for me to decide? Look, I just want to help. I can learn these spells; I know I can.”

“Like hell you will!” Turning to glare at Ron for the third time, I finally broke.

“What the bloody hell is your problem, Ron? Actually, you know what?! To hell with it. If you don’t want my help, fine. I don’t need you all’s help either then.” I said, snatching my bag from Ron’s arm and turning to stomp off. 

“Emersyn, come on! We didn’t mean it like that!” I heard Hermione call out from behind me. I heard footsteps start to follow me before they stopped and I heard Harry whisper. “Ron, not now. We don’t have time; we have to get back in there.” With a sigh from I assume Ron, I heard the door open and close again and when I turned back around, it was gone. 

Fine, if they didn’t want to teach me the spells, I’d teach them to myself. I’ll show them advanced first year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All! 
> 
> Sorry this took so long to get out, this past week has been beyond busy. But I should have more time this week to write (yay!) and I'm hoping to get a few chapters done. This book is going to go up until 7th year and the battle of Hogwarts, so I'm probably going to go through 5th year pretty quick to get to 6th year. This is a slow burn Draco fic, but I don't want to leave you all hanging, so maybe I'll add some fun Ron moments in to pass the time ;)
> 
> xx  
> R


	7. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

It had been about two months now since I last spoke to Harry, Ron or Hermione. It’s not like they hadn’t tried, they had all approached me a few times one their own the first few weeks. After a few weeks of no response from me, they gave up. I was mad at them, sure, but I didn’t hate them. I just wanted to help; I wanted them to believe in me. 

I had spent the two months learning every spell I could. It took a lot of late nights and early mornings and very little sleep, but I was finally caught up to fifth year. Now, I had started learning defense spells. So far I had learned a few like stupefy, expelliarmus, levicorpus and reducto. I was struggling to learn expecto patronum. You needed a happy memory and my happiest memory happened to be with the three people I was currently ignoring. Whenever I thought of something remotely happy, I’d get sad again thinking about how I had ignored them.

**Week two**

_I was sitting at lunch in the great hall. Alone. It was becoming my usual routine; sitting at the tables in the great hall, bent over a spell book and trying not to spill food on the pages. I hadn’t spoken to the trio in 2 weeks and it was lonely, but I had to prove them wrong. I felt the air shift beside me and I knew someone had sat down next to me._

_“What’re you studying?” Hermione._

_I stiffened, but kept my resolve and continued to study the book under me, not even giving her a glance._

_I felt her crane her neck over my shoulder to get a look at what I was reading. “Oh, wow! Third year spells already? That’s awesome Emersyn.”_

_Silence._

_“Would you like some help?”_

_Silence_

_“Well, if you end up fancying some help, you know where to find me.” I felt her stand to leave, taking a moment to watch me, as if waiting for me to finally say something._

_“I won’t.” It was quiet, but firm and I knew she heard me because she gave a sad sigh and left me to my studying._

**Week Three**

_I was in the quidditch pitch, the sun was setting and I knew now was the perfect time to have a moment in there by myself. Practices were over for the day and I was glad to have the quiet space. I was trying to learn how to ride a broom. Harry offered to teach me, but unfortunately we’d never gotten to that. So now, here I was with the basic knowledge of how to ride a broom and nothing else._

_“Up.” I said quietly, with my hand over the broom I had placed on the ground._

_Nothing._

_“Up.” I said, a little more firmly._

_Still nothing._

_“Up!” I was getting frustrated. Why wasn’t this stupid thing listening to me? I just wanted it to lift up!_

_“You have to mean it.” I heard a voice from behind me. Of course Harry would find me out here._

_“I mean it.” Was my only response. I was hoping it would deter him and he would leave me to fail on my own._

_“Don’t get angry at it, but say it once with feeling.”_

_I was saying it with feeling! I wanted to shout. Show me how it’s done then! But I knew I shouldn’t, I was ignoring them until I could show them I could do everything they thought I couldn’t._

_“I don’t need your help, Harry.” I said, dropping my hand from its position over the broom._

_“Oh, well… um, alright then. I guess I’ll be seeing you.” I waited until I heard no more footsteps to turn around and check he was gone._

_Turning back to my broom. Once again, I placed my hand over it. I closed my eyes and took a calming breath and as calmly and confidently as I could, I spoke. “Up.”_

_Then, there was a broom in my hand._

**One Month**

_It had been about a week since anyone in the trio had tried to talk to me, well really Harry or Hermione. Ron hadn’t tried. I’d see him sometimes in the hallway or in class and I’d catch him glancing my way and as soon as he caught my eyes, he’d turn away._

_I missed him the most. His comforting presence and his kind eyes. I was at the only other place on campus that made me feel like Ron did. The lake I had found in the forest. I was sat under a tree, facing the large lake._

_I wasn’t studying for once, just simply sitting and enjoying the feeling of existing in a place such as this. That is, until I heard the unmistakable sound of leaves crunching under feet behind me._

_Before even turning around to look at who it was, I spoke. “Go away.”_

_“I just wanted to see how you were doing.”_

_I almost turned around then. Ron. He had come to check on me for the first time since they refused to let me join Dumbledore’s Army. Then, I remembered how he acted that night. Like he was offended I’d even offer to help. I scoffed._

_“Fine.” I heard more leaves crunching and then there were feet in front of me, in the once empty space of grass I was looking at._

_“Look Emersyn, I was a right git that night, but I can’t lose you too.”_

_Too._

_That’s why he was out here checking on me. Not because he cared about me, but because I was the closest he could get to her; the girl I stole from him._

_“Don’t worry about it. Hopefully my notice will come soon and you’ll have your friend back.” I was hurt. I knew I didn’t have a right to be mad at him for missing his friend. He fancied her and she was gone in the blink of an eye. He didn’t even get to say goodbye._

_Ron sighed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I know she’s gone and that’s okay. But I care about you, I don’t want you to get hurt. This isn’t your war.”_

_Silence. I couldn’t do this anymore. I didn’t want to hear about how he cared about me, knowing it was only because I looked like someone else._

_“Right, well. I’ll leave you alone then. I just wanted to check in. I- I, um- I miss you Emersyn.” And before I could even debate responding, he was gone._

_“I miss you too.”_

**Present**

I was in potions today, watching the back of the trio’s heads as they laughed silently together. I know the time I had spent with them was short, but I missed the smiles and laughs and kind eyes more than anything right now.

“Bloody hell. You really get in a fight with the most annoying group of friends in school?”

“Piss off Malfoy, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’d say it’s a good thing. Maybe now you can get in with the right sort.”

I finally tore my eyes away from the back of the groups heads and turned to find Malfoy staring at me. There was a glint in his eye and a smirk on his lips. 

“And who would happen to be the ‘right sort’?” I asked

He mocked offense, like he was hurt I even had to ask. “Well, me of course.” 

I scoffed. “Absolutely not.”

I felt cold hands cover my own and I looked down to find Malfoy’s hand on mine. Shocked, I didn’t even think about pushing them away. “Come on Carter. You could be one of those girls that… what did you say again? Oh right, ‘only cares about my blood status and money.’” 

I looked away from him and to my surprise caught the eye of none other than Ron Weasley. Harry and Hermione were still talking, but Ron had his entire focus on me. Well, my hands, under Malfoy’s. He looked up at me then, fuming. 

He had no right to be angry. I was angry. He didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth about Dumbledore’s army and didn’t believe in me enough to even let me join. A thought came in my head then.

I smirked at him. I had never smirked before, so I really hope I was doing it right. But if the look on Ron’s face was any indication, I think I had gotten the gist. I turned to Malfoy then and looked him in his blue eyes and smiled. “You know what Malfoy? I just might take you up on that.” 

Then I pulled my hands from under his, gathered my things and left. Snape hadn’t arrived yet, so he would never know I had left. 

My feet were taking me to my favorite spot before I could even think. Once I reached the forest, I finally slowed down and allowed myself a moment to think. The forest was quiet and cold today. The sun couldn’t be seen well through the trees, so the forest floor was dark and moody. 

I shivered. Usually, this place made me feel safe. Now though- now I just felt small and scared. Then, I heard it.

Leaves crunching.

Branches moving.

Someone was following me. 

Quickly I drew my wand and turned around. “Stupefy!”

A body with a head full of red hair flew back and hit a tree. 

“Oh my graces, Ron!” I had hit Ron! Oh no, oh no, oh no. What am I supposed to do? I just knocked out Ron in the middle of the forest. 

Think. Come on, Emersyn, think.

Quickly, I ran up to Ron’s unconscious body and checked his face for any scratches or cuts. His skin was warm and soft, and luckily he generally looked pretty okay. Pointing my wand at him again, I whispered the counteracting spell. “Rennervate.”

Slowly, Ron started to come to. “Bloody hell, Emersyn. I didn’t know you knew Stupefy.”

He was rubbing the back of his head and trying to sit back up against the tree. 

“I am so sorry Ron! I didn’t know who was following me and I just acted on instinct. What are you even doing out here anyway?”

“Well-“ he cut himself off with a groan as he continued to move around. “You left class and I wanted to come check on you. I didn’t know you’d stupefy me!”

I was mortified. Yes, I wanted to prove to everyone I could learn the spells and I had a plan on how I was going to show them, but this was not how I envisioned them finding out. 

“Ron, we have to get you to Madam Pomfrey, you hit your head pretty hard.” I tried helping him stand up and he just groaned again. 

“Yeah, that sound like a good idea.” Finally, I was able to get Ron off the floor and put his arm around my shoulder to help him walk. We walked in silence for most of the way until Ron spoke.

“Does this mean you’ll stop being mad at us now?”

I sighed. “I was never really mad at you guys Ron, I was hurt. You didn’t believe I could learn enough spells to be of any help.” 

“Well clearly, we were wrong.” He muttered to himself.

I didn’t respond. There was nothing for me to say. I had stupefied Ron and now he was going to tell everyone that I had learned new spells, but I wanted to be the one to show them. I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to wait until I learned Expecto Patronum, but there obviously wasn’t time for that. I would show them tonight. I knew there was a Dumbledore’s Army meeting tonight and I was determined to be there. 

After dropping off Ron at the infirmary with a very suspicious Madam Pomfrey, I quickly went to prepare for tonight. 

✹✹✹

Sometime later, I found myself standing in the abandoned hallway again. Of course there was no door. How had they made it appear last time? “Door show yourself?” I tried.

Well, of course that wouldn’t work. I continued to pace back and forth in the hallway, thinking of the door and the room inside and what I had planned for tonight. Then, when I looked at the wall again, it was there. The door! I don’t know how I did it, but the door was there!

Taking a deep breath, I drew my wand. I wasn’t going to stupefy anyone this time, just a simple disarming spell should show them. Grabbing the door handle, I tore the door open and pointed my wand at the first person I saw. Harry. He was clearly in the middle of modeling a spell because his wand was drawn and his face showed a look of surprise as everyone turned to look at me in the doorway.

“Expelliarmus!” Harry’s wand flew out of his hand, landing some ways behind him.

There. I did it. An advanced first year just disarmed the Harry Potter. 

No one moved or said anything, all of them still just watching me. Harry hadn’t even moved to go pick up his wand. Looks like it was up to me to make the first move. 

“Told you I could learn.” I said, closing the door behind me and fully stepping into the room.

The Weasley twins were the first to speak. “Wicked.”

I laughed, wicked indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All! 
> 
> I know I just posted last night, but I wanted to make up for the week and a half of no new content lol. When I get an idea in my head, I just can't stop thinking about it until I write it down and then I get so excited to share it with you all lol. So I hope you enjoy chapter 6!
> 
> xx  
> R


	8. Chapter Seven

After disarming Harry and giving a little more proof at my newly advanced wizarding skills, I was finally allowed to join Dumbledore’s Army. I had spent so long learning spells and ignoring the trio though, that there was only one more meeting before Christmas break later this week. I hadn’t seen Ron since I stupefied him yesterday afternoon and I was currently on the hunt to find him. 

I felt so bad about throwing him against the tree and when he didn’t show up for the Dumbledore’s Army meeting at all last night, I had sat in the common room until I fell asleep on the couch waiting for him. He never showed up though, so either he was still in the infirmary, or he was ignoring me. Neither seemed like a good thing. 

I was skipping breakfast this morning in my hunt for Ron and since it was Saturday, the halls were pretty empty this early in the morning. That itself should have made it very easy to watch where I was going, but unfortunately I seemed to keep my clumsy ways and ran head first into the worst possible person. Professor Umbridge. 

Taking a quick step back, I looked up to see her frowning at me. Not surprising. “I’m so sorry Professor, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” 

“As usual Miss Carter, you seem to be everywhere but where you should be. Come along now.” Then she turned around on her heel and began walking in the opposite direction. I had learned very quickly that you do not argue with Professor Umbridge, so I quickly followed behind her.

“Professor, may I ask where we are going?” Was I in trouble for simply running into the woman? I continued to look around me as I followed after Umbridge, hoping I’d maybe catch a glimpse of a head of red hair.

“It has come to my attention Miss Carter, that you brought a certain young Weasley to the infirmary some time yesterday.”

My eyes went wide and it took everything in me not to make a sound. How was I going to get myself out of this one? If Umbridge found out I had stupefied Ron, I could get expelled and I don’t even know if I have a family to go to in this reality. Plus, she was going to be suspicious as to why I was even learning a spell like that in the first place. I quickly strengthened my resolve. I’d take the complete blame. I couldn’t let Umbridge find out about Dumbledore’s Army. Quick, Emersyn, think. There has to be some story to explain why you brought Ron to the infirmary yesterday.

“Oh, well you see Professor I-“

“That’s quite enough. We shall speak in my office.”

I had never shut my mouth so quickly in my life. We still had about a minute or two until we’d reach Umbridge’s office, maybe that was enough time for me to come up with a convincing enough story. I was practicing transfiguration and a spell went haywire? No. Why would I be practicing transfiguration out in the woods? Did she even know I was in the woods? 

Maybe I could claim that my parents had taught me the spell to protect myself at Hogwarts and when I was walking and heard someone behind me, I acted on instinct? Yes, that definitely seems convincing. Worst that will happen is they’ll write a letter home and I’ll get my wand confiscated for a week or two. No big deal, I’ve gone 19 years without magic. What’s a few weeks?

Umbridge arrived at her office and unlocked the door with a quick spell. After her body moved from the doorway and entered to go sit in her desk chair, I froze. The headful of red hair I had been searching for was sitting right next to the empty chair I was supposed to occupy. 

First, I felt relief. He looked okay and when we made eye contact he gave me a sad smile. Second, I felt anxious. Had Umbridge already spoken to Ron? What did he tell her? I hadn’t come up with a story with him, so she’d know if one of us was lying if our stories didn’t match up. 

I stood in the doorway, not wanting to move until I heard the tell-tale high pitched sound of Umbridge clearing her throat. Tearing my eyes away from Ron’s, I took the empty seat next to him and faced the Professor. 

“You both know why you’re here. I’d like to know why Mr. Weasley was brought to the infirmary yesterday by you Miss Carter.” 

“As I tried to tell you Profess-“

“Mr. Weasley, I’ve already told you to speak only when addressed.” With a quick wave of her wand, Ron’s mouth slammed shut and it was clear she had silenced him.

“Miss Carter.” She was looking at me expectantly. Okay, well maybe if she hadn’t let Ron speak I had a chance of using my story. 

Taking a deep breath, I gave it a shot. “Professor, yesterday I went looking around the woods because I heard I could find some ingredients I needed for my potions extra credit. It was stormy outside and I found that it put me on edge. I heard a noise behind me and it sounded like someone was following me so I- well I… I turned around and threw a quick stupefy. My parents had taught me the spell before I came to Hogwarts this year in case of emergencies and I used it without thinking. It turned out it was just Ron coming to check on me.”

Umbridge made a humming noise and quickly un-silenced Ron. “Is this true Mr. Weasley?”

Ron turned to me then with worried eyes. He knew I’d be in a lot of trouble for using the spell, but I didn’t see any other way out of this mess I made. I gave him the smallest nod of encouragement and he turned back to Professor Umbridge. “Yes, Professor. I had seen Emersyn walk into the woods and I knew it was going to rain, so I walked in after her to warn her.” 

The woman seemed to think on this story for a moment, deciding if it was good enough to believe. She clearly came to a conclusion when with a flick of her wand, the door opened. “You are dismissed Mr. Weasley.” Ron didn’t make a move to leave, not wanting to leave me to fend for myself with this dreadful woman. “Maybe, I did not make myself clear the first time Mr. Weasley. You are dismissed and I would suggest you leave quickly before I change my mind.”

Ron turned to me and for the second time today, I gave him a nod of encouragement before he stood up and tentatively left the office, the door closing behind him. 

“Now Miss Carter, what you did was extremely reckless. Going off into the woods and then using stupefy of all spells.”

I bowed my head and looked at my hands folded in my lap. “Yes, Professor. I understand and I am very sorry.”

“You will serve detention with me for a week beginning tonight. Arrive at my door promptly after dinner. Dismissed.”

“But Professor, it’s Saturday. I-“

“Unless you would like to make it two weeks of detention, you are dismissed.” 

I was not going to win this fight, that was clear enough. Standing up, I said my goodbyes and headed out of the office, only to find Ron leaning against the wall across from the door.

I paused, unsure of if he was mad at me or not. “Hi.” I said quietly, looking down at my feet. I was so embarrassed that I had stupefied him yesterday and I felt even worse for almost getting him in trouble with Umbridge. 

“Hi.” Was all he said back. He didn’t move and neither did I. The halls were still relatively deserted and I doubted that anyone would willingly walk down the same hallway as Professor Umbridge’s office anyway, so it was just the two of us.

“Look Ron, I am so so so sorry. I don’t know what came over me, I was scared and I heard footsteps and I-“

I felt a hand on my shoulder then, cutting off my sentence in my throat. I looked up to find that Ron had moved to the space in front of me. “I’m not mad at you Emersyn. I frightened you and you protected yourself. It honestly makes me feel better to know you’re not walking around here defenseless.”

I chuckled, not knowing what else to say I simply gave Ron a shy smile. Next thing I now, I’m being pulled into a pair of warm arms. “I’m glad we’re talking again.” Ron said with his face buried in my hair.

“Yeah, me too.” I sighed, breathing him in. He smelt like woods, soap and home; if home even could be a scent.

Remembering where we were standing, I pulled away slightly, looking up into Ron’s blue eyes. “We should probably move, unless we want Umbridge to come out here and hex us into next year.” I laughed.

“You’re right. Lunch?” He asked with a smile.

“Sure.” I had missed Ron’s easy going nature and kind smile. It felt good to talk to him again. Ron withdrew from the hug and grabbed by hand to pull me along to the great hall. I smiled when he didn’t let go. 

✹✹✹

After spending a nice lunch with Ron, we met up with Harry and Hermione and discussed winter break. I had decided to stay at Hogwarts, since I didn’t even know if I had a family and I didn’t feel all that comfortable staying with one that I didn’t really even know. It made me sad to think that in one short week, I’d be alone in this giant castle. Sure, I had ignored them for two months, but I was never truly alone. There were lots of students here at Hogwarts and the busyness of it all made it so I never felt alone. When everyone finally left for break though, what would it be like with nothing to distract me? I guess it would be a good time to continue to practice my magic. 

After a dinner filled with nerves about my impending detention with Professor Umbridge, I said goodbye to my friends and found myself standing in front of the Professors office for the second time today. Two times to many, if you ask me. 

Just as I raised my arm to knock on the door, it swung open revealing a woman dressed in the ugliest shade of pink and had an even uglier frown to match. “Come in and have a seat Miss Carter. I am pleasantly surprised you made it here on time, but I am still very disappointed by your recklessness.”

I bowed my head as I walked past her into the office and sat at a desk with a quill and a piece of parchment on it. “Again Professor, I truly a sorry.” 

Closing the door behind her, Professor Umbridge sat back down at her desk and gave me a look full of disdain. “Perhaps this will help you learn your lesson. Pick up the quill Miss Carter.”

Picking up the quill, I quickly realized there was no ink. “Professor, I don’t seem to have any ink?”

With a wave of her hand, she brushed off the comment. “Nothing to worry about, the quill is special and works fine. Now, Miss Carter, you are to write ‘I must think before I act.’”

“How many times, Professor?”

With the smallest of a smirk the Professor answered. “Until I am satisfied you have learned your lesson.”

Holding back a sigh, I decided to get right to work. The faster I could write and get this done, the faster I could get out of here. As I began to write I noticed the ink looked rather odd. Instead of its usual dark color, it was red. Blood red, to be more precise. Looking up at Umbridge, I noticed she was giving me a peculiar look; expecting almost. 

As I continued to write I began to notice some sharp stinging in my left hand. I tried ignoring the pain, it must be a mind trick or something. Eventually though, I couldn’t take the pain anymore. It felt like someone was digging a knife into my skin. Pausing my writing, I gently set the quill down to examine my hand and gasped. 

There, carved into my skin in my own handwriting ‘I must think before I act’. Ignoring the pain for another moment, I looked back at the parchment I had been writing on. It was in fact blood there on the paper, my blood. I let out a small gasp. This was inhumane. My hand was on fire, surely this wasn’t allowed here at Hogwarts. 

“I did not say you were finished Miss Carter.” I looked up at Professor Umbridge then to find her smiling at me, her face dripping with false sweetness. 

“Professor, my hand-“

“Continue. Unless, that is, you’d like to write more?”

I felt my left eye twitch at her statement. I would not let this woman get the better of me. Taking a deep breath, I picked the quill back up and began writing once again. I stifled a groan. It’s almost as if every sentence you write; the knife just digs in deeper. After what felt like a million more years of writing, my vision began to become blurry with unshed tears. 

I couldn’t take this much longer. The pain was unbearable and the writing was getting sloppy, since my hand had begun to shake from the pain. I would not cry here. I would not give her the satisfaction of watching me crumble under the pain. My tears had a mind of their own though and just as the first tear slipped from my eyes and down my cheeks, Umbridge spoke. “That’s quite enough for tonight Miss Carter. I will see you again tomorrow, same time. Off you go.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I practically threw the quill onto the table and ran out of the room as fast as I could. Pain was not something I often experienced, and this pain to be exact was excruciating. My left hand felt like it was on fire and as I ran through the empty hallways of the castle, my cold tears did nothing to cool me down. 

Eventually I found myself in the astronomy tower. I had discovered this place during my time alone and I knew I couldn’t return to the common room like this. I didn’t want Ron to feel guilty and I really did not want anyone to see me crying like this. 

I wonder if anyone else knew what kind of detention Umbridge gave. Did Dumbledore know? How could he allow such a thing? I was sitting on the ground now, cradling my left hand against my chest and rocking back and forth. Trying to find some semblance of comfort as the tears silently continued to stream down my face. 

I continued to sit on the ground and stare out into the dark night sky for what felt like years, but the pain never lessened. Maybe it never would. This place wasn’t right for me. It was dark, cruel and full of wars. Yes, it was also full of love and color and laughter, but was the pain worth it?

“Carter?” Startled, I looked up to find the one person I never wanted to find me here. 

“Sod off Malfoy, I’m not in the mood.” I said, quickly trying to wipe the tears from my face. I didn’t want him to see me like this, crying and in pain. Weak.

“Why are you up here crying?” Why did he sound like he cared? Concern riddled his voice and it was never something I expected to hear from him. 

“Maybe you didn’t hear me before, I said sod off Malfoy.”

There was silence and I thought maybe he had gotten the idea and left me alone to continue to cry, but unfortunately there was no such luck. I was surprised when I felt him sit down next to me and even more surprised when he gently grabbed the hand I was cradling and brought it out into the moonlight. 

Neither one of us said anything as he examined the words on my hand. I must think before I act. 

Then, as if he hadn’t shocked me enough for the night, he did something completely out of character. He wrapped his cold hand on top of the burning words. The coldness of his hand soothing the burning from the magical cuts. 

I didn’t pull away and I’d like to say it was because the idea of the burning returning overpowered any hatred I had for Malfoy. We were silent as we turned to watched the sky above us. 

It was Malfoy that finally broke the silence. “I wasn’t following you or anything”

I scoffed, but didn’t respond. I knew that if we began talking, a fight would ensue and the pain relief would disappear. Malfoy seemed to get the memo and didn’t speak further than that until sometime later. “I come here at night. To watch the sky.”

“Why?” I asked, breaking my own rule. Curiosity was getting the better of me. 

“Probably for the same reason you chose to come here to cry after your detention with Umbridge.” I hummed in approval. When I was running here I didn’t even realize at first where my feet were taking me, until I saw the beautiful night sky. It was a rather calming place to sit and think. 

“Why didn’t you turn around and leave when you found me here?” Realizing that statement sounded rude, I quickly added “Not that I um… don’t want you here. I… appreciate your cold hand. I’m just curious why you’d comfort a ‘blood traitor’ like me?”

He looked at me with curiosity filled eyes. “Is that what I’m doing here? Comforting you?” 

“Well I suppose so.” I realized then that the sentiment was true. I felt the tears stop falling some time ago and the mixture of the coldness of his hand and the warmth of his body next to mine was oddly comforting. 

“Hm.” Was his only response. We sat in comfortable silence after that, neither breaking the odd truce we had settled in. What would happen come tomorrow? Were Malfoy and I friends now or would we pretend as though this moment and this night never happened?

Oh bloody hell. I could feel my curiosity starting to get the better of me. I had to ask him, I had to know what this odd moment of comfort would mean for us. “Malfoy?” I asked, turning to him.

“Hm?” he asked, still facing the open sky before us. 

“I was wondering, tomo-“ I was cut off before I even had the chance to finish my question. 

“Emersyn?” called a voice from down the stairs. I knew that voice well, it was Ron. The excitement I usually received from hearing his voice was now replaced with a feeling very close to dread. As crazy as it sounded, I didn’t want this moment with Malfoy to end. When he kept his snarky comments to himself, he just seemed like a sad boy who needed someone to care for him and that Malfoy wasn’t all that bad. 

I heard footsteps begin to walk up the long staircase, leading up to where we sat and I knew Ron was on his way up and by the way Malfoy stiffened beside me, he knew our time was up too. Without as much as a word, Malfoy released my hand and stood up. Turning to me, we locked eyes for a moment before he gave me the smallest nod as a goodbye and left down the stairs. 

Before I could dwell on the interaction I just had, Ron had rounded up the last of the stairs and was walking up to me. “Emersyn, I’ve been looking for you. Where have you been?”

I looked up at the red headed boy then, feeling like I was almost in a daze of sorts. “I, um… had detention with Professor Umbridge. I needed to clear my head after.” Ron held both of his hands in front of my face then to help me get up and I complied. After I had gotten my footing, Ron didn’t let go of my hands. I thought maybe he was doing what he did earlier today and simply holding them until I realized he was inspecting my left hand with wide eyes. 

“Bloody hell, Emersyn. Are you okay?” I had almost forgotten about the dull pain in my left hand, Malfoy’s cold fingers had dulled the burn to a slight tingling sensation, but the words were still there.

“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine Ron. Really, nothing to worry about.” I said, forcing a small smile. 

Ron continued to study my face for a moment, looking for anything to indicate that I was in fact, not fine. After feeling satisfied that he didn’t find what he was looking for, I gasped as he lifted my left hand up to his warm lips and left a kiss on the words on my hand. 

We just looked at each other then. Neither of us talking. Neither of us moving. 

Finally, Ron cleared his throat. “We should get back to the dorms before we get caught out after curfew, wouldn’t want to get more detention.” I cringed slightly, remembering my detention from earlier and Ron mumbled a sorry. 

As we were walking back to the dorms, Ron turned to me as if he just remembered something very important. “Oh, Malfoy passed me on the stairs when I was coming to find you. Were you sitting up there with him?”

I assumed Malfoy would not want me to expose that not only were we sitting together, but he was in fact comforting me. “No. I never saw Malfoy.”

Ron seemed to think on that for a moment before accepting my answer and turning to look where he was walking again. “Odd.” He said, quietly.

“Yes” I responded, thinking about the cold fingers wrapped around my hand and the sad boy who just wanted to look at the night sky. “Odd.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this 9 page chapter haha. Leave a comment or a kudos if you can :)
> 
> xx  
> R


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